UX friction
The only button up top says "Log in" — a door with no welcome mat for the people who've never been inside.
Free website roast · No signup
Polite feedback fixes nothing. Get roasted instead.
Drop in your URL. We screenshot your real homepage, then hand you three specific, brutally honest one-liners pinned to the exact spots that are costing you customers.
- Real screenshot
- Shareable roast card
- Upgrade to the full $9 report in one click
pinecone-plumbing.example
pinecone
HomeAboutServicesGalleryReviewsContactLogin
Quality plumbing services since 1998
Family owned. Fully licensed. Call us for a free estimate on any job.
Contact us
stock photo of people high-fiving
We use cookies to improve your experience.OK
Copy“Quality plumbing since 1998” is what every plumber says. What makes a 2am call to you different?
Visual designThe only line that says “call us” is small and grey. You're an emergency plumber.
TrustFive grey boxes where the proof should be. Put real names and real reviews here.
Sample roast of a fictional site · pinecone-plumbing.example
Why we roast
Most homepages lose visitors in five seconds. Your friends won't tell you why. Your analytics can't. Roastly loads your real page, points at the exact spot that's leaking money, and tells you what to fix first.
Beyond the free roast
The free roast finds the stings. The report finds the money.
Three one-liners tell you what's off. The $9 Full Roast tells you what to fix first, with a score out of 10 and the whole teardown as a PDF in your inbox.
See what's in the full reportYour #1 money leak + score /10
Revealed in the $9 Full Roast, with the complete teardown as a PDF.
How it works
From URL to fix list, no fluff.
Step 01: Drop your URL
Paste any public homepage. We load it in a real browser and capture the screenshot, the copy and a speed signal. About 30 seconds.
Step 02: Get roasted, free
Three specific one-liners, each pinned to the exact spot on your page, plus a share-ready roast card. No signup, no card.
Free
Step 03: Unlock the full report
Like what you saw? One click from your result: first impressions, UX friction, mobile, copy, design, your #1 money leak and a score out of 10, as a PDF in your inbox.
$9 once. No subscription.
Step 04: Want it fixed for you?
Roast + Fix adds a scoped redesign proposal. A real human reviews it before any quote goes out.
From $149
Pricing
Start free. Pay only if it's worth it.
Every roast starts free. You'll see your result first, then decide. Upgrading is one click from that page.
Free Roast
$0
No signup
See how bad it really is.
- 3 specific one-liner critiques
- Live screenshot of your site
- Shareable roast card
Roast my site
About 30 seconds.
Most popular
Full Roast
$9
One-time. No subscription.
The complete teardown, as a PDF in your inbox.
- Everything in Free Roast
- First impressions and UX friction
- Mobile experience and copy critique
- Visual design review
- Your #1 money leak to fix first
- Overall score out of 10
Unlock the full $9 report
- 1. Roast your site free first.
- 2. Hit “Unlock full report” on your result. Pay $9 once.
Not useful? Refund, no questions.
Roast + Fix
$149+
Quoted per project
We roast it, then scope how to fix it.
- Everything in Full Roast
- Scoped redesign proposal
- Reviewed by a real human before any quote goes out
- Bought the $9 report? It comes off your quote
Request a quote
No instant checkout. Send the details and you'll hear back with a quote.
Roast gallery
See the damage before you pay.
Real roasts from people who opted in to share them. Skeptical? Good. Look at what you'd actually get.
Trust
Pricing is a tiny word hiding in the top corner while the hero asks for your name first.
www.xpage.site
UX friction
Donate is the only golden button up top, outshining the download most visitors came for.
python.org
UX friction
Three CTAs, three different names: "Roast my site", "Roast my site, free", and "Roast it".
getroastly.app
- northwind-analytics.examplenorthwindHomeProductsSolutionsPricingResourcesCompanyCareersBlogContactLogin
Empowering data-driven synergy for tomorrow's enterprises
Leveraging best-in-class paradigms to unlock scalable value across verticals.
Get startedBook a demoLearn morestock photo of people high-fivingWe use cookies to improve your experience.OKnorthwind-analytics.example
SampleCopy
“Empowering data-driven synergy.” Five seconds in, I still can't tell what you sell. Neither can your visitors.
- pinecone-plumbing.examplepineconeHomeAboutServicesGalleryReviewsContactLogin
Quality plumbing services since 1998
Family owned. Fully licensed. Call us for a free estimate on any job.
Contact usstock photo of people high-fivingWe use cookies to improve your experience.OKpinecone-plumbing.example
SampleVisual design
Your phone number is 9px and grey. You are an emergency plumber. Bold choice.
“Looks really nice, but I'm not tech savvy and have no idea what this is.”
Go ahead, ask. We won't sugarcoat it.
What do I actually get for free?
Three specific one-liner critiques pinned to your real homepage, a live screenshot, and a shareable roast card. No signup and no credit card.
What's in the $9 Full Roast?
A structured teardown as a downloadable PDF: first impressions, UX friction, mobile experience, copy critique, visual design, the one money leak to fix first, and an overall score out of 10.
How does the refund work?
Not useful? Refund, no questions. Email us within 14 days of purchase and we'll refund the $9. See the refund policy for the details.
Is my roast public?
No. Roasts are private by default. A roast only appears in the public gallery if the person who ran it switches that on, and then only the screenshot, the three findings and the domain are shown, never your email. If it's your site and you'd like it removed, email us and we'll take it down. No reason needed.
Will the roast be nice?
Not especially. But every joke points at a real, fixable problem. Brutally honest, genuinely useful.
What is Roast + Fix?
Everything in the Full Roast plus a scoped redesign proposal, reviewed by a real human before any quote goes out. It starts from $149 and ends in a short request form rather than instant checkout. If you've already bought the $9 Full Roast for that site, the $9 comes off your quote. We only quote work we can actually do, so if your site is on a platform we can't work on, we'll say so plainly.
Which sites can you roast?
Any public homepage. Pages behind a login, and sites that block automated browsers, can't be captured.
Find your
money leak.
Thirty seconds, one URL, three uncomfortable truths. Free.